Yes, your car IS worth it.

I use this blog mainly to rant about stereotypes in the automotive industry that both service professionals and customers fall into.  While we do tend to poke fun at ourselves at times (it's so easy), as well as at customers (in good fun), the intent is to help educate customers in hopes they make better decisions that work best for them.

On almost a daily basis I hear the same initial response from customers when they hear how much it costs to rebuild their transmission.  Generally if the vehicle is 10-years old or older the usual response is, "Yeah, the car isn't worth that much."

/rant on (in a loving way)
Well of course it's not worth that much, you now own a vehicle that does not move.  It's "worth" value is now zero.  Vehicle "worth" is not based on any blue book, it's based on what someone is willing to give you for your now dead vehicle.  Unless you're a professional mechanic yourself, you better hope that the person that buys your immobile car is.
/end rant

/educate on
Your vehicle is not a financial investment.  Your car does not appreciate with age and you will not get a return on your investment in terms of dollars and cents.  Your return on investment is the fact that it gets you from point A to point B in a reliable manner.

So what *is* the next step in determining how to move forward?  Let's look at a few factual points:

1. Your broken car is either your means of transportation or a family members.  It's what they use to get to work or school or both.
2. Your broken car is broken.
3. You can only bum a ride from friends for so long before they start telling you all about Uber.

Here are now your options:

1. Buy a new car!   Cost involved: Anywhere from $15,000 - 40,000 for the average 'Murican.  Benefit?  New car warranty for up to five years!  Not so benefit?  Payments of $450+ / month for 5 years.
2.  Buy a used car!  Cost involved:  Anywhere from $500 - 40,000 for the average 'Murican.  Benefit?  A car that runs! Not so benefit?  No guarantee how long it will run, no warranty, monthly payments of some dollar amount for 3-5 years.  Also, remember, when buying a used car, you're buying someone else's problems.  Most folks who trade in their cars or sell them are doing so because they are facing either a major maintenance item or a major repair bill.  Rather than fix it they'd rather sell it.
3. Fix your car.

Regardless of the option you decide there is a cost involved.  While there is no wrong answer listed above, there can definitely be a wrong answer depending on your financial position.    Let's look at our three options again:

1. If you've been looking for a reason to buy a new car and the wife has been pressing you to buy that new BMW M-series and it's within your means then, yes, that may be your destiny.  Just be prepared for the payments.  There's nothing wrong with that, it's how and why new cars are sold in the first place!  
2. The cost of a used car goes well beyond that of just the purchase price.  Remember, you'll have to pay to fix someone else's problems.  You may also have to invest in new tires or other minor fixes that will show up in the next 6 months.  Used cars are similar to new cars in that you will have a monthly payment in the form of some sort of repair.  The only difference is that your new monthly payment will vary from month to month instead of that fixed payment you make to the bank on a new vehicle.
3. Fixing your vehicle is similar to buying a used vehicle.  "I can buy a used car for that much!"  Yes, yes you can.  But can you buy a used vehicle in which you know the true vehicle history?  You certainly know your own car.  You know what works and what does not.  Fixing the transmission means you're "buying a used car" that now has a transmission that is warrantied for 3 years or 36,000 miles.  Can you find a used car with that sort of warranty for the price of rebuilding your transmission?  Chances are extremely slim.  Even if you decide to sell your now-fixed vehicle, the ability to sell a working vehicle is much higher than selling a dead vehicle.  Win-win.

You, the customer, need to compare real world costs involved to you.  What is the cost of REPLACING your vehicle vs. REPAIRING your vehicle.  Regardless of what route you go the end result is going to be the same:  Your means of transportation.   Choose what is best for you whether it means repairing or replacing, but never factor in the "value" of your vehicle because in its current state, that dollar figure is a big fat goose egg.   It's true value is the transportation and reliability that it gives you.

2014 Bicycle Sport Shop Club Members!

To my Friends and Family of the Bicycle Sport Shop clubs,

I wanted to simply take the time to introduce myself as a sponsor of the clubs and give some background of who I am, what my business does, and why you’re seeing an automotive transmission shop sponsoring a bicycle club alongside all these fitness, nutrition, running and yoga businesses.  Talk about being the ugly duckling of the group!  I know that as a member of the club I look to see what benefits I can personally gain from the sponsors of the club and I’ll be the first to admit, along with many of you, that a transmission shop is one that I’d normally just overlook for a number of reasons; my car works just fine, I have no need for transmission work, I hate mechanics in general, yadda yadda.  Hopefully I can offer a benefit to everyone either directly or indirectly as best I can and I encourage everyone to use me as a knowledge contact whenever necessary.

Many of you may already know me.  I’ve volunteered at a number of BSS sponsored events and rides during 2013 and was even convinced by Carla Jennings to try my hand at cyclocross with the BSS CX club.  I ride bikes.  I love bikes.  The past year and a half of riding bikes has literally changed much of my life allowing me to take a closer look at my health, my hobbies and how I spend time with my friends and wife.  I was in dire need of change after spending numerous years racing cars and feeling tired and stressed.  I’ve always looked for avenues to give back to a community that has taken me in as well as Bicycle Sport Shop has done for me.  

I’ve worked in the automotive industry since 1997 in some form of fashion working at dealerships, independent auto repair facilities and finally my own transmission shop.  I know cars.   More importantly, I was a customer first before I ever learned how to even do a simple oil change on a vehicle.  As a customer I’m fully aware of the negative stigma attached to the auto repair industry and that has been my sole reason for me creating a career in the auto repair industry.  I’m well aware of that cringing feeling everyone has whenever they have to take their car in for work or even for a simple oil change.  You always feel like you’re going to get screwed somehow.   We’ve all been there.  Even establishing a comfortable level of trust is never fully realized because of the lack of knowledge that a customer has about vehicles.  We simply trust that they’re doing the right thing and charging a fair amount for the service.  Talk about a leap of faith.   How many times have you gone in for a simple oil change and wait in deep anticipation for that service advisor to come into the waiting room holding someone’s air filter, presumably yours but not always, ready to tell you that it’s time to replace your filter, or what’s worse, found more problems wrong with your vehicle.  This is how automotive nightmares start.   My goal is to change that.

When I first sat down with Sarah McCarty to discuss sponsorship of the clubs, I had no idea what I could offer.  The transmission industry is so specialized and varying that the best I could come up with was a flat 15% off of any work performed at my shop (20% for Legacy members).  I don’t have a single individual product that I can discount for members.  And, again, as a customer/club member my first reaction to seeing 15% off of transmission repair is a sarcastic,  

“Hooray, 15% off of a repair bill that I really don’t want in the first place.” 

 Hopefully I can offer more than just a percentage off of a repair bill.  I want to help you make proper decisions.  I want to help educate you about your car or truck.  I want to be your automotive advisor.  This is what I propose in addition to a 15% off a repair order:

1. If you own a car, use me as a resource.  My email address is dpedroza@eagletransmission.com or even find me on Facebook.  (Eagle Transmission – Pflugerville)   It’s that simple.  I want to make sure that you are treated fairly wherever you go, even if it’s not my shop.  If you feel like you don’t understand something that a mechanic is telling you or trying to sell you, call or text me.  I’ll be happy to call them directly to ask questions on your behalf.  I’ve made phone calls posing as a customer’s brother or father asking for more information and even calling out some service advisors who really don’t know what they’re talking about.  I’m also happy to explain things in a way that you can understand in order to make a proper decision.  I want to put the trust back into the family mechanic, but that starts with knowledge.   Knowledge is power.
2. If you are looking for a second opinion, come see me or contact me via email or text.  I will walk you through whatever you need to know in order to make a good repair decision.  Oftentimes it may be work that we can do ourselves at my shop, or if we can’t do it I’ll refer you to a reputable shop in town.   I do wholesale transmission work with many independent shops in town and would be happy to refer them to you for general repair work.
3. Looking to buy a used car?  I can give you tips on how to take thousands of dollars of the price of a used car or truck.  I can also inspect the potential used car for you for absolutely nothing.  Zero.  Zilch.  Plus, after inspecting the used car I will send you back to the seller with a list of potential issues on the horizon that will guarantee dropping the price of the car anywhere from $500 to $2000.

   

Unfortunately there are some minor terms to my offer.  First, I am the owner/operator at just the Pflugerville location.  You may be aware of other Eagle Transmission locations throughout Austin (3 others), but we are all each individually owned and operated and those other shops have no idea what I’m doing.  So don’t go to the S. Austin location asking for Dan or requesting a BSS discount.  They’ll look at you funny.  I know that Pflugerville isn’t the most convenient location, but on average we’re just a 20-minute drive away.  Second, text me before you call.   I rarely have my phone on me when I’m in the shop and it’s safer to just send me a note first so I’ll reply quickly.   Email is pretty darn quick, too.  Thirdly, don’t be afraid to use me as often as you want.  This is what I do for a living, simply helping people make their lives more convenient.  After all, that’s all a car is, right?  Convenience?  

I am looking forward to 2014 as a club member and a sponsor.  I hope to see everyone on the road or on the trails!

Dan Pedroza

Owner, Eagle Transmission - Pflugerville

http://www.pflugervilletransmission.com

Never shop for price by phone!

Why you should NEVER ask for the price of a transmission overhaul over the phone.

The bad news is that you believe you have a transmission problem and you just felt your wallet shrivel up into a little ball.  Your first instinct is to call various transmission shops to get a price to overhaul the unit and compare these prices.  The bottom line is price, right?  Or is it?  Before we get down to the difference between price and quality, let’s talk about shopping for phone quotes and why you should NEVER do it.  The good news is that we will tell you how to get the most useful information from a repair facility and make an educated decision for the future of your car.

Customer:  “Hi, I drive a 2004 Toyota Rav4.  Can you tell me the cost to rebuild that transmission?”

No matter what the answer is going to be, it’s going to be high because that’s what you want, right?  A worst case scenario is what you seek so you can brace yourself for the worst.  Seems like a good idea, right?

Well, let’s think about what goes on behind the scenes for a minute. Every transmission shop in town is taking down your information.  They want your name, car you drive and potentially your phone number.  They also will write down that worst case scenario price tag that they just gave you in hopes that you will come visit them.  

Trans shop: “Yes, ma’am, a basic rebuild on that unit can range anywhere from $2400 to $3200.”

The customer then repeats this process through four other different transmission shops and decides to go to the cheapest price. (Another no-no that we’ll discuss later)

Every one of these shops has written down the customer’s name and the price given to them.  If this customer decides to show up at any one of these shops, they know that she has already committed to potentially paying $2400 - $3200 even before it’s checked out!  The customer has the price they were looking for over the phone and they came in anyways ready to bite the bullet!  Guess who has the upper hand in this transaction?  The transmission shop.

The transmission shop will then think, “I’ve already given this person a rebuild price, let’s just rebuild it because that’s what she’s expecting anyways!”  They will then proceed to overhaul the unit whether it needs it or not and gladly take the $2400-3200 quoted.   They may even charge at the low end of that scale so that the customer will be ecstatic that it was at the low end of the price range quoted!  The customer will also NEVER know what was truly wrong with the vehicle.  Can you trust any shop that gives a price of repair without knowing what is wrong with it?  You can’t diagnose a transmission problem over the phone!

Once you go into a shop that quoted you a price over the phone, you are now labeled as a “Player”, someone who is ready to plop down that worst case scenario amount of your hard earned money because you were the lowest price in town.  You didn’t come in because the shop has a good reputation, or are a member of ATSG or ATRA or the BBB, or because you came highly referred from family and neighbors.  You came in only because of price since that’s all the information you have from your phone calls.

The fact about transmissions that come through our shop is that the average cost of repair is about $600.00.  This is because some vehicles require a simple solution such as replacing a defective sensor or solenoid.  Others may require a complete overhaul.  Our shop performs more repairs than overhauls.  Approximately 75% of our work is repair work to the drivetrain.  The remaining 25% usually means the transmission needed to be rebuilt.  The odds are in your favor but you’ll never know until you have your vehicle properly diagnosed by a professional.

Now, as for looking for the cheapest possible price? There’s a mission statement that we adhere to that goes a little like this:

Quality:  It’s unwise to pay too much, but it’s worse to pay too little.  When you pay too much, you waste money.  That is all!  When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything because the item bought is incapable of doing what it was bought to do.

The common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot; it just can’t be done!  If you deal with the lowest bidder, it is wise to add an amount for the risk you will take.  If you do that, you will have enough to pay for something better.

www.pflugervilletransmission.com

"That'll be $1100 sir!"

Here it comes.  It's that feeling I get when I find another shop that screwed one of our customers; where the bottom pit of your stomach wants to come up and make you hurl because the automotive industry continues to maintain its black eye.  This time it's a Honda dealership in Houston.

Customer comes in with an oil leak. This isn't your normal slow leak that occurs over time and seeps to the point where it coats the entire engine.  Oh no, this is the type of leak where a seal blew out and dumped out about a quart of oil right behind the timing cover.  I might get a bit technical here but I promise to provide some pictures (aka evidence) of what I'm talking about.  The timing cover is a set of plastic covers that protect the timing belt.  In this case of a 2001 Honda Prelude, it protects the timing belt and balance belt (large timing belt, small timing belt).  Back in the 1990s Honda had a design problem where the balance shaft seal literally blows out from oil pressure and oil just comes dumping past it.   Their fix was printed in a TSB (technical service bulletin) until NHTSA made it an actual recall for certain 90s model Honda Accords. This was a simple fix, mind you.  It's a half-moon metal retainer clip that keeps the seal in place so that it doesn't blow out.  When we saw this vehicle, we assumed it was this seal that blew out.

 Here's a pic of the TSB fix with the retainer:

When we called the customer with our findings he was puzzled.  Before he moved to Austin (from Houston) his father had the timing belt along with all of its seals replaced as part of the 90k maintenance.  He pulled out his receipts and matched up the part #s of each seal with what I show as the proper parts that need to be maintained.  Yup, he had proof on paperwork that he was at least charged for the following:

1. timing belt
2. balance belt
3. (2) cam seals
4. crank seal
5. (2) accessory drive belts
6. balance shaft seal
7. water pump
8. valve cover gasket.

Granted, this is the proper list of parts for this job since it's all included with a standard Timing Belt replacement, but one key piece is missing.  The balance shaft retainer.

Upon our further teardown we then found that the camshaft seals were never replaced!  How do we know this?  On the Honda assembly line the workers will mark the seals with a white mark.  It's marked on the left and right side of the seal.  When you remove the seals for replacing, the mark will obviously be gone.  These marks were still present:

His balance shaft seal was also missing the proper updated retainer which every Honda mechanic with 1/4 of a brain knows to replace when doing a timing belt job:

To add insult to injury, ever since having this "timing belt job" performed, the customer said that he had the accessory belts replaced at a Jiffy Lube and the valve cover gasket replaced at another repair shop for a leak.  Both of these jobs are part of the timing belt job!   Remember this button?

They charged him $1100 for the job, we have evidence that they didn't do a damn thing and now he's out another $1000 to have it properly fixed.  Needless to say he has a buddy who is a lawyer that will be sending a letter to that dealership in Houston.

Always.....always.....always ask for your old parts on these large jobs.

Stone Soup! (and bacon and eggs)

When I was a much younger child (about 5 or 6, i don't exactly remember), I recall watching Sesame Street (which was popular back in the day before people thought that Ernie and Bert were gay lovers nor cared whether Big Bird was a male or female). Or was it Captain Kangaroo?  Long live Mr. Green Jeans.  Anyways, there was a story being told called 'Stone Soup.'   Some of you may recall this story about how a family fed themselves with a simple pot of water and a stone at the advice of some bird or something like that.  You might ask yourself, "How the heck did they feed themselves with just a stone and water?"   I asked myself the same thing.  Well, as I recall, the bird advised the family to add carrots to the soup to help give it flavor.  Then they'd add a little bit of spice.  Then somehow they came across some potatoes and a side of beef.   Then magically they found a bottle of chianti to wash it down.  Wait a minute.  How did a hungry family which was begging for food suddenly come across all of this food when just two minutes ago they only had a pot and a stone?  It may not have actually happened that way, but that's how I remember it.  I was five, give me a break!

Where are you going with this, Dan?

Periodically we get customers who come in for just an oil change.  No problem, it usually takes about thirty to forty-five minutes to complete. 

"Great!  I'll go ahead and wait on that, you have free WiFi, right?"

Most of our customers do understand that we're not a Jiffy Lube; we don't have a dedicated pit where four to five teenagers attack a car ripping out all the filters to show the customer how dirty they are and how they will die if they don't flush their transmission fluid.  No, we have one dedicated technician that does our complete oil changes while our other technicians are busy with other repair work.  Every so often within this group of oil change customers we'll get someone who will request other work while the car is in the air.  Now this is usually not a problem if they want us to do a tire rotation or to just check brake pad thickness, but we do get some odd requests.

"Oh, while you're doing the oil change can you have someone check out the radiator?  The car is overheating."

"Oh, also, there's this knocking noise that only happens when it's 40 degrees outside and I'm traveling over this particular road near my neighborhood.  Can you check that out, too?"

"You all top off fluids, too, right?  I know that I have a freon leak in my a/c, you'll top that off, too, right?"

Suddenly our stone soup 30-minute oil change job has turned into a 3-hour diagnostic procedure and the customer doesn't quite understand why they can't wait on it?  The reality is we can't just poop carrots and potatoes.  An engine overheating can be caused by at least three different problems (lack of coolant, no fan operation, stuck thermostat etc.)  The freon issue (which is a gas, by the way, and not a fluid) will require a leak detect because freon is supposed to recirculate through the system during the life of the vehicle.  If you're low, you have a leak.  Finally, we probably couldn't fit a quick drive to your neighborhood in the winter during that 30-minute wait.

Remember, the purpose of this blog isn't to call any of my customers <ahem> uneducated, the purpose is to provide useful information to you on what's expected of certain situations and why!  Always keep in mind that if you see a room full of customers waiting to all have their oil changed, you may be in for quite a siesta!  Bring a book or drop it off.  Otherwise, we do provide shuttle service to and from work, unless you live in Bastrop. (in which case if you do live in Bastrop you'll have to call ahead and schedule an appointment for that ride.  ask for Jeanette!)

Now that we're all hungry and on the subject of food, let's talk about our bacon and eggs special.  You might visit a shop and hear some yelling in the background along the lines of, "Bacon and eggs special!"   Chances are you brought your own parts or provided your own oil and filter.  We don't bicker about it unless it's a big job.  We don't expect you to come in with a complete engine gasket set and say, "Reseal my engine."  It's even ok to bring in your own specific engine oil and filter if you like. The term comes from a comparison of walking into your local McDonalds, handing them a muffin, a slice of cheese and an egg and say, "I'd like an egg mcmuffin, please. <smile>"   We do keep the lights on by not just charging for labor but also for parts.  Bear in mind that if you do bring in your own parts that we don't provide a warranty.  Not only that, but if they don't fit your car and your car is now stuck on our lift while you get the correct parts you will be charged for the amount of lost revenue for monopolizing that particular bay.  And finally, if your part fails six months down the line you will be paying labor again to install replacement parts even if your parts are being swapped out by your supplier for free.  Suddenly it doesn't sound like a very good idea to bring your own parts, does it?  Again, we don't mind doing the work just be prepared for the consequences if any of the above scenarios pan out.

Mmmmm....bacon and eggs.

We have a B.S. button. And so should you.

This is why I started this little blogging site in the first place.  I just need a place to rant and at the same time educate my readers.  Knowledge is king.  I think NBC said it best, "The more you know!"  I knew watching cartoons in the morning would pay off eventually.

Anyone who knows our shop at all knows that we have a little thing for Miatas.  Call it a love affair, or an addiction, or a passion or even a fetish?  Whatever terminology you choose, just know that we know Miatas like the back of our hands.  As such, we have customers all over Austin and we understand when some of them can't always afford to take the time to drive all the way north to us for simple oil changes or the like.  If we can't provide them with on-site repair or maintenance service I always highly encourage our customers to call me if they ever have any questions or concerns about their Miatas.

Last week (a Wednesday, perhaps) I had a customer of ours call me because she was concerned about a noise coming from her exhaust and asked if it was OK for her to drive it until she could get it to us to check out.  She drives a 2001 Miata with an automatic tranmission. (normally being an automatic wouldn't have any weight in this discussion, but bear with me, it does play a role further down).  I told her that normally exhausts leaks won't cause a major problem but to get it to us as soon as she could so I could make sure she wouldn't burn up an engine harness or other surrounding parts.  The next day she called me saying that the noise was getting much worse so she stopped at a nearby garage to look at the problem.  This other shop told her that she had an engine vibration that was due to broken motor mounts.  She was quoted $485 to fix the problem and asked me if this was both a reasonable fix and a reasonable cost.  At that time I told her that I would look up the job operation and call her back as soon as I could.

When I get off the phone I thought to myself whether or not this was a reasonable diagnostic.  Let's do a little background first on just what an engine mount does in the first place.  An engine mount is what supports the engine on the subframe and is usually made of a solid rubber material.  Some mounts are even liquid filled as technology forces you to pay more money to fix them when they fail.  It's purpose is to absorb engine vibration so that you get a smooth ride in the cockpit.  It also allows other attachment points such as wiring harness or rubber hoses from being yanked around and being damaged.  Over time these rubber engine mounts get hard and brittle and start to either crack down the middle or separate itself from their metal plates. That said, we rarely see Miata engine mounts go bad. They only have two (one for each side of the engine) and are quite beefy. The exception to that rule are the automatic transmission Miatas.  Because the automatics are always in 'D' (Drive), the engine is constantly under load and it tends to collapse only one mount as its being torqued over even if you're sitting still at a light idling quietly.  When they do fail then there can be all kinds of engine vibrations and rattles that will absolutely drive the car owner nuts, not to mention your neighbors as you rattle up the driveway night after night.

Now let me talk about (2) red flags that I noticed right away:

1. She called me on a Wednesday complaining of a slight rattle.  It was only one day later that she called saying it's getting much worse.  Engine mounts don't fail this way.  They usually tend to degrade slowly over time.  A rapid degradation tells me something else is possibly going on.

2. $485 for mounts?  According to our shop labor guide (Mitchell's) the parts, labor and tax is half of that total.

So I called her back and asked her if she could possibly give me more information.  Perhaps they were quoting her some other work in addition to the mounts?  Perhaps because of the broken mounts she also had worn out hoses or harnesses?  Something would have to justify the additional cost.  She made the phone call and they said that they couldn't print out the quote because, "Our shop software doesn't allow us to print out estimates."  Wow, someone raise the B.S. flag.  I even pressed our 'BULLSHIT' button.    When asked why they were so expensive their advisor told her that they had to justify the cost because of the ASE Certified Master Technicians they employ to do such fine work on her fine automobile and provide a proper warranty.  Ok, I'll buy that explanation, but not for that price.   I told her to bring the car to me.

She showed up the next day and I personally test drove the car to verify the concern.  Sure enough there was an exhaust rattle so up in the air it went on the lift.  Motor mounts? check.  Engine vibration?  none.  Exhaust rattle, ah yes.  We found a 4-inch long broken exhaust bolt that had rusted through and was vibrating like it wanted off of this ride now!  This useless bolt simply supported a heat shield around the midpipe and served no other purpose whatsoever.  We removed it at no cost and I then went for a ride with our customer.  She was ecstatic.  I was fuming.

How can an independent shop with "ASE Master Certified Mechanics" rip off this poor older lady for $485?  Why can they not provide her with an actual breakdown of the estimate?  How do they sleep at night? ("On a big 'ol pile of money!")

As a consumer at any retail level the customer needs to know what they're buying.  We know exactly what we're buying when we plop down $900 at Best Buy for a big screen tv, right?  You did your research, you compared different brands and you trusted Best Buy's reputation.  Why shouldn't you know exactly what you are getting when you pay that amount at a repair facility?  Our average repair ticket is about $300 per job.  That's a lot of money to be paying, wouldn't you agree?  A knowledgeable customer not only makes more efficient use of their money but also does their part in KEEPING THE INDUSTRY HONEST!

This is the heart and soul of rebuilding a positive reputation. Knowledge is power.  If you have questions, ask them.  If you're afraid to ask them, then call me and I'll ask for you.  I have oftentimes posed as someone's brother calling a repair facility and asking questions on their behalf.  I love pinning them in a corner.  Never accept an answer from a service advisor that starts and ends with, "Because the tech said its bad."  Your confidence in them just got dropped to below zero and he needs to switch jobs and start flipping burgers.

This shop is located in S. Austin.  If you want the name, shoot me an email.

Crazy tamale lady turns into crazy cat lady.

There aren't enough keystrokes in me to document the long history that we had with our 'tamale lady.'  She's the lady that comes to your office selling a dozen tamales for $5. I think Taco Bell put her out of business.  Anyhow, past stories of her adventures aside, she recently came to us in her old rickety 2001 Dodge Caravan saying that we need to rescue her cats.  Apparently she recently adopted a litter of kitties that were only a couple of weeks old when suddenly she noticed them missing.

So why is she at an automotive shop, you ask?

"I just KNOW they're stuck underneath the van!"

"Well, ma'am, how do you know this?"

"I can hear them!  I can hear them meowing! and I just know its them and we have to save them or else they'll fall out in traffic and I just can't find them, oh please rescue my cats!"

"Ma'am, no problem, just give us a few minutes to clear a bay and we'll put the van up in the air to take a look."

Approximately 7 minutes pass and she just can't wait any longer.  Two minutes later we have three firemen crawling all over her van looking for cats. (there's a fire department next door to us, which is very convenient for us since we have multiple nominations for the annual Whiskey Tango Foxtrot award in which we give one of our techs an award for being the biggest dumbass.  The past two years it has involved fire.  But I'm going on a tangent.) What's better than having a real fireman rescue real cats!  BRILLIANT!  If we can only get them to stop laughing first.

Finally our shop foreman decides to rescue the firemen by taking the van and driving it on the alignment rack so we can take a look underneath.  The firemen then start walking back to the station.....and on the way go ahead and write a ticket on my windshield for parking too close to the fire hydrant.  Ok, I'm just kidding....it was a customer's car.

Ok, so back to the alignment rack.  My foreman is underneath with his flashlight poking around in all the crevices while our ex-tamale-now-crazy-cat-lady is calling for them underneath the van, "Here kitty kitty kitty, come to mama!."  It would be easier to hear the cats (if they were actually there), but her dog won't shut up as it's yapping its little head off being trapped in the drivers seat 20 feet in the air.

I guess it would have also been easier if one of my other techs wasn't hiding behind his toolbox lightly whispering "Meow, meow, meow"

So after we convince her that there are no felines anywhere in the vicinity she decides to leave.  So what noise did she actually hear?  She has suspension bushings that are about to fall out and are squeaking like...well....a herd of cats.